Doodling

I doodle at work when I'm bored sometimes. Yesterday I was pretty bored.

Busy as a bee!

The weekend came and went all too quickly. Of course that happens when having fun. Saturday was spent being lazy the first part but S and I ended up in Chesterton to support some friends at the relay of life where we spent quite a bit of cash on booths and the silent auction. I won a bucket with bird feeders and things and S won some show tickets which she gave to her brother as a birthday gift on Sunday. Here is my basket: 

So that was fun. 

Sunday morning I got up and made fresh bread which everyone liked. 

It's great with butter and homemade jam. :)

That afternoon, we went to the nursing home to celebrate someone's birthday which was enjoyable. I love how these people actually celebrate each other! It's really nice. 

Monday came too quickly and I had to meet with Ex. Seeing him made me ill. Literally. I felt so tainted and slimy after. How did I ever like him let alone love him? I would even call him evil... I could just feel the hate and anger at the world rolling off of him in putrid vibes. He was so rude to the clerk dealing with us as she would not bend to his will and break the rules for him. He hasn't changed. I hope to never have to see him again.

Tuesday was blazing hot and humid, as we are in a bad heat wave. Still, I'm not complaining. It's still better then freezing in winter. The peach tree was suffering and had to be watered. The mystery of who was pushing S's pretty planter over often was solved and the planter was moved. One of the neighborhood dogs was to blame, a poodle.

Sorry about that...

I'm having troubles with Blogger, and I don't know if it is because I post using my phone sometimes or what, but if you read my last post (or tried to) you may be wondering why I can't seem to break my thoughts up into paragraphs. Well, I can, but blogger so helpfully decided it didn't like paragraphs and no matter what I do in edit, I cannot fix that post!

What's a girl supposed to do about that??

Anyway...moving on....

The temperature and the humidity finally moderated a little bit and everyone is breathing a little better outside today. It would of been very nice to be able to stay outside and work in the yard today. Maybe even finish up the fire pit. I ate my breakfast outside of yogurt and a biscuit just watching the world, and watching a mole hill move suspiciously. I did not let D know it was twitching, as he would of likely tried to kill the little creature. Most do not have the respect of living things like I do. In my opinion, it isn't posing any kind of danger to me or mine, and thus I can happily co-exist with it and instead just watched fascinated as I'd never actually seen one in action though it's trails are all over the yard.

Someday I will have my own little farmette, and it will be friendly to creatures great and small. Many I know think I'm positively bonkers for enjoying things like moths, bees, mice, moles, bears, etc.etc.etc. But they all do have a place on this earth, and I would find this world burdensome and boring without other creatures to share it with. To me, they are fascinating and deserve to enjoy the circle of life like the rest of us. Perhaps more deserving then us humans, who seem hell-bent on destroying the gifts of this world.That's not to say I oppose things like hunting and fishing and farming, what I oppose is being disrespectful and wasteful of the resources. I oppose killing indescriminently, killing for sport or fashion, or killing just because someone is scared of what they don't understand when simple commonsense precautions can be taken. For instance city coyotes that people fear. Coyotes don't attack people. Coyotes won't bother you if you keep a close eye on little fufu, coyotes won't bother you if you keep your chickens contained, and they won't bother you if you bother to put your lids on your garbage cans. But nope. People would rather go on killing sprees to slaughter them en mass. Pretty pathetic and lazy if you ask me. I don't oppose farming, but I oppose using masses of chemicals to do it, that get into air, water, and kill plants and animals, including the helpful ones. I oppose farms so large, that tons of fossil fuels must be used to till, plant, and harvest. It isn't healthy of sustainable. But, apparently, I'm just a peacenik dreamer.

It's HUMID

I'm not especially complaining about the humidity, as I would much rather it be warm and humid then cold and bitter outside. But when you take some moth infested bricks of hard dried out brown sugar that was from the back of the pantry to the compost and it INSTANTLY turns nice and fluffy when it hits the air, you KNOW it's humid. I know brown sugar really doesn't go bad....but there were bugs in it. Lots of them. Moths and thier worms. I may have had to just deal with skimming the squirmies out of food in the past, ugh, or go hungry, but I no longer have to do that and I hope to never ever have to do that again. So into the compost it went to feed the microbs. We had some rain yesterday, but not enough. I was hoping for more today but any storms passed us by. I'll have to hand water a few things tomorrow morning. I really do hope to get a weather station for the yard soon, maybe next month so I can start keeping records here. One of the little goldfish was belly up this morning :(. I have no idea why he died. He seemed healthy the day before, swimming around, looking as active as the other one. Although I can't recall seeing him eat. I know all the others I remember seeing eat the food. Well, he was fished out and buried in one of the houseplants, at least he will be fertilizer and the circle of life goes on, though I do feel bad about it dying in my care. I don't know what I could of done diffrently to prevent that and the other fish look fine. I picked up another magazine to read, Hobby Farms July/August issue. Its a very informative rag, though a lot of the articles don't really cover what I can do here in this yard, they are still very interesting and its neat to see diffrent methods of farming. There was an article on tomato grafting, interesting, but nothing I will ever do. I get enough tomatoes just off normal ones that I don't really need to worry about the hassle of going through all that even though I know its somewhat of a fad right now. I found the tree pastures article very interesting and someday if I should ever have pasture, I think I would do similar. The article on wild native bees was especially good, and I am a real fan of bees and can use some of the ideas for sure.

A Weekend at Home

I didn't make too many plans for the weekend hoping to get a few things done that I wanted to get done. Of course somehow any time I have off from work, whether or not I have busy plans ends up full and exhausting anyway. So here is how it went:

I could no longer take the no critter to tend to life and I knew D & S would have no issues with a few little fishes. And so now I have Sugar & Spice the tiny comet goldfish and Mr. and Mrs. Finley the bettas. I got them all on Friday and they are doing great. It's only a 3 gallon tank so I know Sugar and Spice when they get to be an inch or so long will need their own accommodations since goldfish really need about 2 gallons per inch of goldfish and a much better filter as they are messy fish and in the winter the bettas will need a submersible heater while the goldfish do not. I already have some used aquariums waiting in the wings, and maybe I can figure out some aquaponics set up for the little goldfish eventually for some experimenting. 

Saturday ended up being busier then expected. Because Ex was playing games and being a jerk, I never got some of my mail during my transition between my escape from him and my new life here. And I seriously want to smack the postal service for telling Ex my new address so he could lob threats at me.

Anyway, I did not get a notice that my license plate was expiring and that I needed a smog check. Well he told me, in an attempt to lure me to him alone that I had important BMV mail. He would not forward it or give it to my neighbor who could get it to me. So I never got it as I refused to get it from him. But it clued me in, and I went to the BMV and figured it out myself and just in the nick of time too, the plates expired today.

So after running around from the BMV to the smog check, I spent more of my time then planned but was relieved to get it over with.

I went home to grab my market bag and S to go to the farmer's market in Chesterton. I'd never been so was excited to check it out.

S was not feeling up to it so I loaded directions into my phone (how did I live without this thing before?!!!) and hit the road. It seemed to take forever to get there with all the road construction on 94 but I made it.

I must say when I think of a farmers market I expect farmers. Lots of farmers with lots of fruits, veggies, honey, mushrooms and meats. Out of 50 or so booths, only about 3 had fruits and veggies (and not all were local produce like the tropical fruits, obviously) a couple honey booths, a mushroom seller, and the rest were crafts or junk sellers and mobile eateries. I wasn't the only one displeased.. I over heard others complaining about it in the crowd. And the few real veggie sellers were swamped with business and the lines took forever to pay for the produce. I did end up bringing home a big organic brandy wine tomato, an organic head of lettuce, a couple organic cucumbers, some honey roasted cashew butter, some yummy plums an a seascape strawberry plant (which was a $1).

I finally got home and was going to start some baking but S was up then and needed to run some errands. So we ran around to do that and at lunch out at Culver's. It was tasty, but not healthy. We went to visit her mom next who had been transferred to a close by nursing home and we spent way too much time there, hours. By this time I was worn out. We went home and I took a nap before D got home then we all got ready to go out to eat.

By the time we were home again I really was tired. I starred at the baking ingredients I had set out to bake with and decided to do it in the morning instead. 

I felt icky Sunday morning but I had promised myself I would get certain things done so I forced myself up. I grabbed a new book of mine, shown here, and turned to the first recipe. Chocolate chip cookies!! What a good cookie to try out the new oven with:)

As you can see, they baked perfectly. I was almost tempted to add some chocolate mint leaves to the batter to see if that would give it a minty flavor to them.

I did leave the pecans out as the members of the house informed me they do not like pecans. I love them but since the majority don't, I left them out. About a dozen of these were later taken over to the nursing home to give to momma S.

But before we went to visit again, I finally got the peach tree planted in the 95% humidity and heat.

And I painted the #10 cans. Sweet pea pink. It matches the room in the attack! 

My poor house plants finally got transplanted into their mostly recycled new homes (the paint of course was not recycled). I still need one more for the aloe vera and an even larger pot for my fish hook barrel cactus that's outside right now for the summer. I'm still using boxes as furniture... I'll have to find some shelves soon.  But first I want a desk.

I did set the little tray of emerging sprouts outside in a sheltered spot as the bok choi was already reaching for more light.

I read and rested the rest of the hot and humid afternoon and for super we all just ordered pizza and relaxed and watched TV and stuff.

This morning, not in a mood much to even go outside as it was pouring rain ( a good soaker rain to water things well) so I just stayed in my room and organized and decorated a bit more. I hate bare walls, and decided to decorate one wall with my postcard collection. I love postcards and even found a couple that really touched me with good memories, sent to me by my grandmother years ago while still in college. They are treasures now that she is gone and they are the only two I did not put up as I want to protect them. I think I may start a new blog just to showcase my postcards for fun.

Something to nurture...

Part of the reason why I was bummed out is that I really have nothing to nurture right now. I have always nurtured everything. Strays, hurt wildlife, bugs, snakes, cats, dogs, birds, rats, mice, plants....You name it, I've nurtured it. When I escaped, I had to leave my cats and dog behind. When I could go back later, I got them, and gave the cats to my neighbor, and took the dog hoping he would get along with the landlords. He was a one person type dog no matter how much I tried to train him to accept other people. He ended up biting S unprovoked and acted as nothing was wrong...and as painful as it was, I had to put him down. I don't believe in keeping dogs who bite unprovoked....and before it had never been an issue. :( I hated myself for that but it was a catch 22...leave him with EX, who couldn't afford to feed or care for him, who wouldn't of walked or taken him to the vet and who was unstable and mean or risk it and hope he would adjust. In a way I suppose it was better he didn't  have to suffer the life Ex would of given him...But it still broke my heart into pieces and left me with nothing to nurture. I have never had a time in my life when I was petless.....and though D has discussed rabbits, chickens, bees, and vermicomposting sometime in the future, that is just a maybe. I needed something to wake up everyday for, something to take care of that makes getting up everyday worthwhile. A reason to get up as something depends on me do so.

So I made a completely frivolous purchase, that was rather on the fly, and brought home a small 3 gallon aquarium and Mr. And Mrs. Finly. I would love a big aquarium but I have no faucet upstairs where my living quarters are and lugging 20 gallons of water up those narrow stairs would be a bit much for me....likely would of taken days! Although maybe, later, I will feel up to a larger one.

Pretty pointless creature for an urban homestead I know...But then again, I can use the fishy water for watering houseplants and seedlings so in a way, its almost like aquaculture. Hahaha :) I may get a little goldfish too, something a bit more lively to watch swim around but I didn't like any of the ones I saw at Walmart, they looked icky to me. I know a goldfish would grow pretty fast, and would need a larger place before too long but I'd have time to get one set up and lugging water and get a good system going before that would be necessary.

And I found a few more 20 cent seed packets at walmart of things I did not have yet. The top two are perennials so should come back year after year after I plant them. The daisies I think would be great for that hotter dryer spot by the mailbox that I couldn't keep pansies alive there. And the Portulaca would be good in the hanging baskets next year. I'm sure they would need less watering then the petunias, which are a pain to keep looking good and watered enough.

And here, some of my seeds are starting to come up. In these three spots are some Bok Choi cabbage, They are the first to sprout for me. I'm guessing they are going to need more light then the window in my room, even if I get good light up there. I may set the tray in the shade out back. I wish that the tray sectioned out like most you buy do instead of being one solid block but hey, it was a free kit so I'm not complaining.

Not pictured here, but I also bought a chocolate mint plant from walmart. I'm not really a fan of bonnie plants, they are not organic, but I'll likely not find any organic grown plants from the shops and you can't really get chocolate mint from seeds. I haven't added what I've bought today to the garden total yet but will have to when I look at the receipt from today when I get home again. Not sure if I should add in the cost of the aquarium or not...its not really a "garden" item, though I plan to use the water on plants. I'll have to think about that. I've never kept track of the actual cost in $$ of my gardening before so I thought it would be neat to see how much I actually spend year to year and since I'm starting fresh, it was a good time to start keeping track.

I know why I've not been my normal cheerful self...

These last few days, I realized why I was not feeling myself. The holiday. Its reminding me that I have no family around, and the one I committed myself to for a long ten years didn't give a hoot about holidays. So I feel regret. Regret that I missed out on all the family holidays with my grandparents before they passed away. They were huge holiday celebrators. My whole family was and I was too until I moved away with Ex and though I wanted to celebrate, it was one sided and my celebrations were lonely. Regrets that I wasted what should of been the best years of my life.

And that was what was bumming me out big time.

But, I can't sit and sulk, I must take things one step at a time sometimes.

And once I realized what was bumming me out, I could deal with it.

So on the 4th, I worked in the morning, came home for a bit in the afternoon and worked in the yard cutting brush and tree branches which made my arms so weak and shaky for an hour after that I could not eat lunch or even drink water. I wonder if that is a strange Lupus thing? I've never had that happen before and it was pretty scary how bad my arms were shaking! I gave up trying to hold anything and just took a nap until work called me back. Last year I could of worked all day like that, not just 30 minutes and never even feel it. :( It made me feel weak and horrible. I can not give up gardening. Its bad enough I have had to give up hiking and backpacking this year as well! I refuse to give up my garden. Dammit. If I have to do things with tillers and in raised beds instead of how I prefer to do everything by hand, then I will have to. But I am not giving it up.